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FREEDOM FROM THE WEB OF PORNOGRAPHY

Whenever I think of the word, sex, the picture that quickly comes to mind is that of a fireplace in a cold winter morning. Even when the fire is intense, it is safe, warm and relaxing. But the moment that fire is taken outside the fireplace, it becomes destructive. It can burn a whole house! This is what pornography does. It takes fire (sex) out of its fireplace (marriage). 

Sex is great as long as it is expressed in the proper context – marriage. Then it becomes safe, warm and relaxing! But pornography paints an entirely different picture of sex. It tells you that sex, love and intimacy are all the same thing. It tells you that it doesn’t matter whose body you are using. All that matters is your satisfaction. People, who are caught up in this web, build relationships on sex. To them, commitment, love and mutual trust is merely an illusion.

Let’s see some troubling facts on pornography:

1. At any second of the day there are as much as thirty million (30,000,000) unique visitors, viewing porn.
2. Just about half of the internet is made up of porn or porn related contents.
3. A university of Montreal study found that most guys are exposed to porn for the first time at age 10.
4. Most men watch or have watched porn.
5. Every 39 minutes a new porn film is created in the US.
6. 88.2% of top rated porn scenes show aggressive acts where 70% of the occurrences are perpetrated by the guy.
7. Internet porn in the UK receives more traffic than social networks, shopping, gaming, finance and travel.
8. Several recent studies have found that teenagers from all over the world use porn to learn about real life sex.

The truth about sex cannot be learnt from porn. It teaches the opposite. The goal of porn is not to educate but to sell sex. In the world of pornography, sex is a product. It is a trade that is all built on lies. For one to be truly free from its addiction, one needs to recognize the lies and see its harmful effects on humans. A lot of porn addicts don’t think that porn is harmful but in reality it is! Porn destroys marriages.  It affects the human brain, destroys ministries and causes untimely deaths.

In 2004, Dr. Jill Manning shared some interesting data regarding pornography and relationships. In her research, she found out that 56% of divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornography websites. 1

If this report is absolute, it simply means that if there are one million divorces in a year, five hundred thousand of them are porn related. This may not be far from the truth because pornography affects how we understand sexuality and how we view each other.

A relevant finding by those who are conducting brain research is in the area of what are being called mirror neurons. These neurons make up a circuit located in the frontal and parietal lobes (the region near the top of your head). These neurons are involved with the process for how to mimic a behavior. They contain a motor system that correlates to the planning out of a behavior.  Consider this example: if you see someone grab a hammer and pound it, the same part of your brain that you would use to actually pound a hammer would also be activated. Other brain regions may hold that behavior in check, but you now have primed a neutral circuit to hammer a nail. The neurons were originally called “monkey see, monkey do” neurons (they were first discovered in monkeys), and constitute the way we neurologically learn by observing others.  But it would be wrong to think of viewing pornography as just a simple circuit board. The human brain is not like a computer; it has a chemical soup in which it operates and functions.  There are hormones and brain chemicals (known as neurotransmitters), which provide the chemical medium for brain activity. Viewing pornography does not just activate circuits; it generates feelings intended for sexual longing, desire, love, and romance. 2

What we see, gradually affects how we behave consciously and unconsciously. Like every other addiction, Porn addiction comes in stages. Most guys who get addicted to porn start early. It begins with either association, just stumbling over a porn site or even picking up a porn magazine. And later it becomes an addiction. They keep coming back to porn. Then there is the escalation stage where they start looking for more graphic porn. The porn that might have disgusted them before now starts becoming exciting. Then they move on to the desensitization stage where even the most graphic porn does not excite them anymore. And then finally they start acting out sexually. They move into the real world.

Porn teaches:

• That women are mere objects of satisfaction

Men who are addicted to pornography see women from this stand point. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions are played down.

• That a woman’s value depends on her physique

Porn only places value on a woman’s body. In the world of porn, a woman’s mind and personality is useless. In porn, the true meaning of beauty is devalued. Beauty is only seen from the physical stance. Less physically attractive women are ridiculed. This is why men who are caught up in this web have a myopic view about the concept of beauty. A woman’s personality doesn’t really matter to them, as long as they have those physically attractive features. In the same vein, women who are caught up in this web have a twisted understanding of “endowment”. Endowment to them is nothing more than physical.

• That sex is a game

Most men who are into pornography often brag about how many women they have ‘conquered’. To them, it is a proof of their masculinity.

• That women can be bought

Porn views women as property that can be bought anytime. So, as a product, she can be used whichever way the man wants.

• That rape is normal

It is a twisted terrain. Often in porn, women are shown being raped, resisting at first and then completely giving in.

• That illegal sex is fun

In porn, brothers are shown having sex with their sisters. Mothers, having sex with their sons, etc. Small wonder the daily reports on incest is on the increase.

Pornography generally affects the way we think. Porn addicts see sex in everything. Their idea of a great relationship is that involving “great” sex. There is more to life than sex.

There is more to life than what we know and there is more to sex than what we know. Life was designed by God for a purpose and so was sex. Life is sweet and sacred and so also is sex. But there is more to life than sex. Sex becomes profitable when you understand life, but very destructive when the purpose of life is not known. 3

Can one really experience true freedom from porn addiction? The answer is a very fat YES! It begins with you! No man can really be free from addiction unless he sees it as harmful and desires freedom from it.

 

One day I saw a house fly jump into a cobweb. It was an interesting sight to behold. The more the fly struggled to get out of the web, the more it got entangled in it. There and then, God opened my eyes to see how a lot of believers struggled with sin.
Like the house fly, the more you struggle with sin, the more you get entangled in it. It does not depend on human effort, but on God’s mercy (Romans 9:16). Imagine a hand pulling that housefly from the web. That is the only way out.

The reason why a lot of people have not been able to experience freedom from pornography is that they keep it to themselves.

Admit it!

Most people don’t know they are addicted to pornography. One question you need to ask yourself is, do I keep going back to it? If your answer to this is YES, then you are either an addict or you are gradually becoming one.

Own up!

Do I really need help? By now I’m sure you’d know the answer to that. Pornography is harmful. It affects our brain, it affects our relationships, and it affects our future. One of the extreme cases of this addiction is that it makes people addicted to sex that they have sex without caution. This in turn can lead to the contamination of sexually transmitted diseases.

Open up!

I have seen someone almost drown because he was ashamed to say that he could not swim. He was struggling with the water and his friends thought, “Wow this guy is good”. Bottling it up and trying to figure out a solution on your own cannot help. Remember the house fly in the cobweb. Talk to a counselor (preferably your pastor) about it. But I must advice here, make sure he understands grace. Most pastors create more problems than solve them.  Some will condemn you and make you feel terrible. Prayer becomes their last resort.  God never stopped loving you because you were caught up in this web. Truth is, he loves you even more and longs to fellowship with you.

If you have not given your life to Jesus, do so. Giving your life to him takes you from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light (Acts 26:18). If you have given your life to Jesus, draw nearer to him. He loves you and wants to help you.

Flee!

Yeah you heard me. Flee! Truth is, you will be tempted. The sin of sexual immorality is not on the same plane as other sins. I will show you from scriptures, 1 Corinthians 6:18.  “Flee from sexually immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” When you sin sexually, you are actually sinning against your body. In other words, you are harming your body. If you read on you will see where Paul says that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Our body is meant to radiate the beauty and splendor of God. But sexual immorality affects our true beauty and splendor. Therefore, RUN! Don’t for one second think you can handle it. I often hear people say, “Oh don’t worry, this one I can handle him”. It is a lie! Flee! 

Attend fellowships

“let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-all the more as you see the Day approaching” Hebrews 10:25.


There is nothing that helps a believer grow in grace like fellowship. We all need some form of encouragement to grow in life. Our association matters. Bad company corrupts good character. 1 Corinthians 15:33. If you stay too long in a bad company, unconsciously, your language changes. Peter tried to deny having an association with Jesus but the bible told us that his accent betrayed him. I like the way NIV puts it. It says “…Surely you are one of them, for your accent gives you away.” Matthew 26:73.

Trust God!

Be confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6. God is able! Lean not on your own understanding. Trust him completely. He has not condemned you and he never will. He loves you and wants to help you. His grace is sufficient.

Friend, Jesus has paid the price for your redemption. You are debt free! All your sins, past, present and future has been taken care of on the cross. All that is needed of you is to believe in the finished work of the cross and enjoy true freedom. Everything that stood between you and God has been rolled away. Come into a fellowship with him and see these addictions fizzle away. The more we know how much he truly loves us, the more we reign in life. God bless you!

References:

1. Manning J., Senate Testimony 2004, referencing: Dedmon, J., “Is the internet bad for your marriage? Online affairs, pornographic sites playing greater role in divorces, “ 2002, press release from the Dilenschneider Group, Inc.
2. William B. Struthers, the Effects of porn on the male brain. Article ID: JAF 1345 http://www.equip.org/articles/the-effects-of-porn-on-the-male-brain-3/
3. Oladepo Olatunbosun., Life is more than sex Quotes: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/25138049-life-is-more-than-sex



HOW I LOST 15KG IN ONE MONTH WITHOUT HITTING THE GYM

GRACE, A LICENSE TO SIN?

A lot of preachers shy away from the preaching of grace because to them, it is a license to sin. This makes me wonder, “How can anyone run off to sin after receiving the message of Grace?” It’s like telling a student, “Your uniform is white?” And the next minute, he is in the mud. By no means! On the contrary, it is a student who thinks his uniform is dirty that will careless of where he sits. “After all, it is dirty. I can always wash it later”, he says. This is what the law does! It exposes our weaknesses and makes us feel dirty. This is why people who live under the law confess their sins every now and then. Some compile their sins and confess all at once at a later time! Now this, my friend is bondage!

But does this mean that the law is evil?

Not at all!

Why then was the law given?

God gave the law for one purpose, so that the world will become conscious of sin and recognize their need for a Saviour. Paul tells us in Romans 3:20 that we cannot be declared righteous in God’s sight by observing the law, rather, through the law we become conscious of sin. Without the law there would be no sin. And without sin, there would be no need for a Saviour. The law exposes our weaknesses and brings us to the end of ourselves so that in despair we would see our need for Jesus. No man can keep the law! Before the law was given, the Israelites all echoed with confidence, “We will do everything the Lord has said!” (Exodus 19:8). When Moses had gone to commune with God and was long in coming down from the mountain, they disobeyed the very first commandment that was given on Mount Sinai. (Exodus 32:1-5). The law is good, but it cannot make us godly rather it exposes our ungodliness.

But why did Jesus say that he has not come to abolish the law? (Matthew 5:17)

Of course Jesus did not come to abolish the law because the law is good. You wouldn’t have had the need for Jesus if not for the law. The law pointed us to Jesus. So, instead of abolishing the law, he fulfilled it. Jesus fulfilled the law on the cross. The bible tell us that Jesus canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. (Colossians 2:14). Hallelujah! Every debt we owed was FULLY paid for by Jesus when he died on the cross. This was what he meant when he said he had come to fulfill the law. How then can we continue to pay for what Jesus has paid for? Every time we put the law between us and God, we are negating the finished work of the cross. Galatians 2:21 tells us that if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing. In other words, his death was in vain.

There’s only one way to gain righteousness.

“For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of GRACE and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:17).

Righteousness is a gift we receive when we give our lives to Jesus! It does not come by observing the law. Note from this scripture that we do not only receive the gift of righteousness, we also receive God’s abundant provision of grace. Unlike the law, grace was not given, grace came! (John 1:17). Grace is personal. Grace is warm! You can have a relationship with grace. Grace is Jesus! On the other hand law is hard, impersonal and distant. You cannot have a relationship with the law. The law condemns but grace comforts. The devil is so skilled at using the law every single minute to condemn believers. And believers who do not understand grace fall cheaply to his pranks. A lot of believers have even replaced the voice of the devil with that of the Holy Spirit. They believe that it is the Holy Spirit that convicts them of sin. Let’s see what the scripture says about that.


“When he (the Holy Spirit) comes, he will convict THE WORLD of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment. In regard to sin because men do not believe in me; in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father…” John 16:8-10.


It is very clear from where we just read that the ministry of the Holy Spirit is not to convict believers of sin, but the world. Why? Because they do not believe in him. He cannot convict us of sin because it has been dealt with on the cross. He only convicts believers of righteousness. How does he do that? He simply reminds us every time we sin of how righteous we are. He doesn’t and will never condemn a believer. While the devil uses the law to condemn us every time we sin, the Holy Spirit reminds us how precious and righteous we are before God. The goal of the Holy Spirit is to make us draw nearer to God every time we fall but the goal of the devil is to make us run away from God every time we fall. Refer to my post THE FATHER’S LOVE and see a personal testimony I shared on Satan’s strategy to keep us down.




If truly we have been made righteous, what happens when we sin?




“But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his son, purifies us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7).


It is not our confession that cleanses us from all sin but the blood of Jesus. Every believer is already in the light. We have been translated from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. So we are not walking according to the light but in the light. We do not go into darkness when we sin. We are purified in the light and we remain in the light. The word purifies here denotes a present and continuous tense in Greek. This means, the moment you give your life to Jesus, his blood continually purifies you. So, like that student, your uniform is always white. Hallelujah! We do not go on confessing our sins as believers. Confessing our sins makes us sin conscious. But confessing our righteousness in Christ makes us righteousness conscious.




If this is true, why then were we told to confess our sins, according to 1 john 1:9?




Of course those were the words of John but who was he writing to? John was writing to the Gnostics who were not believers. He was simply telling them that if they confess their sins, that God is faithful and just to forgive them and to purify them from all unrighteousness.




AGAIN I ASK, HOW CAN ANY MAN DELIBERATELY SIN AFTER KNOWING THIS?




By no means! Grace is not a license to sin. It is the power to live above sin. When we truly and fully understand grace, our heart is full of gratitude for what God has done for us. We are moved to love him more. We desire to fellowship with him. We run to him as we are. Don’t forget that it is the devil that uses the law to condemn us and his goal is to make us think that the Father is angry with us. And the moment we think that way, we begin to avoid fellowship with him. Instead of running to our helper, we run away from him.




If you are a preacher reading this, don’t shy away from the preaching of Grace. Preach it every time you have the opportunity to. Lives can only be radically transformed when we preach grace radically.

3:16

April 14th, 2014.

It was a scarcely lit room. On a table beside the bed stood a ten by ten inch picture frame of me and my wife, Rose. Beside the picture frame was an electronic alarm clock. It said 3:16 am. I was fast asleep. My phone lay carelessly, close to my left ear. After a while, it rang. It was so loud that I sprang out of bed. I reached out for it. It was my wife.

“Good morning sweetheart. I guess you are set for your appointment”, she asked.


I turned to look at the alarm clock. It said 3:16 am.
“By this time? It’s still too early.” I replied, adjusting the duvet to cover my bare chest.
“I thought your appointment was for six thirty this morning?”
“Yes it is! I’m meeting with the officials at the Nyanya Motor Park station and from there we’ll leave for the venue of the meeting… Please let’s talk later. I still need to catch some sleep”


“It is six fifteen Carney!”


“No, that’s not true! The time is…” I turned to look at the time again. It was still 3:16 am. I was shocked. It was then it dawned on me that the alarm clock had frozen.


“Honey, my alarm clock froze. Gosh! I’m late! Please I’ll call you later. I need to hurry up.”
I dropped the phone on the side table and jumped out of bed. I zoomed into the bathroom and hurriedly brushed my teeth, washed my mouth, took off my boxers and entered the bath tub to wash up. After washing, I tied a white towel round my waist and rushed back into the bedroom. I made for my wardrobe and brought out my black suite and my red shirt. I put them on hurriedly. My phone rang again. I reached out for it and picked it.


“Carney where are you” my wife asked, worried.


“I’m just about to head out”, I muttered, buttoning my shirt.
“Oh thank God! I thought you had gone out” heaving a sigh of relief. I was taken aback by her response. I thought she would be angry that I was still at home.


“Honey you need to stop whatever you are doing right now and begin to thank God.”
  “Why would I do that?” I thought to myself. “I don’t understand what you are saying. What is going on?” I asked, perplexed. “There’s just been two bomb explosions at the Nyanya bus station”, I could almost sense the gratitude in her vocal expression. “What! When did this happen?” I made for my side table, reached out for my small radio and began to tune it for possible news.
  “It happened about seven minutes ago. An eye witness to the explosion just called me.”
I turned the radio knob until I got a clearer signal from BBC World News


“…blast went off during the Morning rush hour. Nyanya Bus Park was packed with commuters trying to get into the capital. From the look of the scene it is possible that the bomb was planted inside the buses…” a male reporter reported.


I gently placed my phone on the table and listened to the reporter with keen interest.
“Hello! Hello, are you there?” Rose called out. The radio had my full concentration.


 “…there was total panic in the area as those who could, ran for their lives. Bodies and body parts are scattered around the area…” continued the reporter.


 My phone rang again. I glanced at it. I was surprised to see Felix calling. I quickly picked it.


“Hello Felix, where are you?” “Thank goodness! I thought you were in the car. I was a few miles away when the bomb exploded. I’m at the scene of the explosion now.” He replied, panting.
I could tell from the ambience that there was chaos in the background.
“Oh my God! Thank God you are alive. Were you able to recognize the car?”
“Yes, but from a distance. The fire service men are here trying to put out the fire.”
“Who and who were in that car? Do you by any chance know?”
  “I can’t say for sure but Anica called around 6:25 this morning to tell me that she had arrived and that they were waiting for us”. Felix said. I paused for a moment, weakened by the news. “You mean Anica was in that car?” I was hoping he would say otherwise. “Yes!” Felix reiterated. My phone fell off my hands. I sobbed! My mind wandered to a scene from the past as I lay my back on the bed.


***
I had just woken up from sleep when I saw Anica making up before the standing mirror.
“What are you doing?” I asked, yawning.
“Getting ready for church, have you forgotten today is Sunday? Aren’t you coming with me?”
“No way! Church is not for people like me.”
“Who is it for then?”
“For genuine believers not people like you, you are a hypocrite!” Anica smiled as she combed her hair.
“I’m not! At least I’m not cheating on anyone. I don’t have a husband”.
“You’re justifying yourself… You are a sinner!” I turned and backed her.
“God knows I’m doing my best to serve him. I only pray for you that one day you will give your life to Jesus!”
“Amen!” I replied, jestingly. “Please don’t come tomorrow. My wife will be back from the States.” “Whatever!” She muttered, picking up her bag from the side table. “See you when I see you!” She left the room, not waiting for a response. It was obvious from the tone of her voice that she was angry. I escorted her to the door with my eyes.


***
“Why did you have to leave?” I cried uncontrollably. We didn’t always agree but we were best of friends. I will never forget the day she came to me and said she was tired of having an affair with me, that it wasn’t right. She came up with this whole story on grace and how God loves me and wants to do a new thing in my life. I wasn’t cut out for all that. In fact, I was angry but I respected her for her decision. We agreed to just be good friends, nothing more. I even thought she would change her mind sooner or later, but days turned to weeks and weeks to months and she still didn’t change her mind. That was when I knew that she had actually found a greater love.


I pulled myself from the bed and took another look at the alarm clock. It still said 3:16am. I wiped tears off my eyes and fixed my gaze at the clock, wondering why it froze. Almost immediately, there was a knock on the door. I wondered who that would be. At a second thought I assumed it was Felix. I picked the alarm clock from the table and left the bedroom, making for the living room to get the door.


When I opened the door, I was shocked to see Anica standing there, worn out. Her hair was scattered, her dress tattered and she smelled of smoke.
“Anica!” I whispered, still in shock. I thought I had seen a ghost. She was sweating profusely.
“His love swept low”, she whispered, trying to hold back tears.
“I already got to the park when I remembered I had forgotten a very important document we needed for the meeting. So I was told by one of the officials to go and get it. I had barley left the park when the bombs exploded”. Anica could not hold back the tears any longer. She cried out loud.
“The other officials were in the car” she managed to say, as she looked at me with tears filled eyes. I consoled her with an embrace, still in shock.


After a moment of silence, she withdrew herself slightly, looked at me and asked “You are not known for lateness Carney. What happened?” wiping tears from her eyes.
I withdrew myself further, lifted up my right hand and showed her the alarm clock.


“It froze at exactly 3:16 this morning. I woke up to look at the time and it said 3:16 am. So I slept back. And then my wife called to ask if I was set to go out. At first I was angry that she disturbed my sleep because the clock was still saying the same thing. It never occurred to me that the clock had frozen until she said that it was passed six. I jumped out of bed and began to prepare. I was almost done preparing when her call came in again to break the news. A friend of hers had called her to tell her.”
Anica looked at me with utter amazement and said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him…”


“…should not perish but have eternal life!” I added. Of course I knew that verse of scripture. Who doesn’t by the way!
“Was that what He was trying to tell me?” I asked, almost talking to myself. Anica nodded her head in response.
“John 3:16…God loves you Carney?”
“But how? I don’t deserve his love. I deserve to be punished. If there was anybody that deserved to die in that bomb blast, it’s me” “Exactly Carney but Jesus has been punished for your sins. He, who knew no sin, became sin that you may become the righteousness of God in Christ. He took your place on the cross Carney. All you need to do right now is to believe in what he has done for you and then confess with your mouth that he is the Lord over your life and you shall be saved.”


At that moment, tears created a path down my left cheek. His love found me. “How can anyone reject such a love”, I thought to myself. Anica led me to Christ and we both lifted up our voices and worshipped God who had shown us great mercy.

YOUR MISTAKE, A VEHICLE TO YOUR MIRACLE

So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the ISHMAELITES, who TOOK him to Egypt. (Genesis 37:28, NIV).

As I meditated on this verse of scripture, a lot of thoughts came to mind which I would love to share with you. God had told Abraham in Genesis 12 to leave his country, his people and his father’s household and go to the land He will show him. He then promised to make him into a great nation and to bless him and make his name great. Some years down the line, after Lot had left him, God said to him, “Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your OFFSPRING forever” (Genesis 13:14, 15). Years later, Abraham is still childless. He empties his worry on God and asks that Eliezer of Damascus, his trustworthy servant, be made to inherit his estate but God reiterates, “This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your body will be your heir”. (Genesis 15:4).  Abraham believed and it was credited to him as righteousness.


After waiting for so long, Sarah got tired of waiting and pleaded with Abraham to go sleep with their maidservant, perhaps they can build a family through her. Abraham agreed and ISHAMAEL was produced. Thirteen years later, God establishes a covenant with Abraham and reminds him of his promise to bless him with a child. Abraham fell facedown and laughed and said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under his blessing!” Then God said, “He will, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son and you will call him Isaac… I will surely bless Ishmael and make him into a great nation BUT my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year”. (Genesis 17:17-21) A year later, ISAAC, the child of promise was born.


Ishmael was a mistake, the son of the bond woman. He was not meant to happen but God allowed it because he would later use that mistake to teach us about GRACE. (Galatians 4:23). In subsequent posts, I will talk more on ISHAMAEL and ISAAC as they relate to LAW and GRACE.


There is no disadvantage with God. He uses anything, good or bad, to accomplish his divine purpose in our lives. Later on, we saw how Isaac’s grand son, Joseph, had a dream and that dream will not come to pass unless he is rightly located and ISHAMAEL, the mistake, became the vehicle God used to convey him to the right location, Genesis 37:28.
You might have made mistakes in your journey in life. Don’t be discouraged. God wants to use that mistake as a vehicle to convey you to your miracle. Like Joseph, you might have an awesome dream but you look around you and everything seems to be crumbling down. Don’t worry, help is on the way. Imagine Joseph, after such a glorious dream, ending up in a pit. The circumstances around him at that time were contrary to the dream he had. His brothers had everything planned out but God was working behind the scene, using everything that seemed like a mess, to reveal his glory. He is never too late. Just when they thought, “Let’s see what becomes of his dream”, help (the mistake) showed up. The Ishmaelites showed up and took him to his miracle. We later see how God used Joseph to preserve Israel, at a time when they had nowhere to turn.


God cannot be taken unawares. What the devil plans to use to take you down, God will use to announce you. I have seen people who were victims of sexual abuse being used by God as instruments of healing to those going through similar challenges. He is in the business of converting our messes into messages. Don’t stop believing. No matter what you are going through right now, God loves you and wants to use you in a way you never imagined. His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. Put your trust in Him. What men see as mistakes, God sees as opportunities. People might throw stones at you because of your mistake. My friend, use those stones as stepping stones to your glory.


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28).


All things here include your failures, your mistake and your weaknesses. God uses everything, good or bad for our good. He doesn’t desire that bad things will happen to us but when they do happen, he uses them to His glory. And here’s the good news friends, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither heights nor depths, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35, 38, 39). Isn’t this wonderful friends? Hallelujah! Nothing can separate you from His love. Not even your mistakes and your weaknesses. No matter what you are going through, He is there with you. (Isaiah 43:2).

Be convinced that God can turn that mistake to miracle. He can be trusted. Be assured of His everlasting love. He loves you beyond what you can ever imagine. He has paid the price for your success. You are a victor!

THE FATHER'S LOVE

I remember coming back from school several years ago feeling lost and dejected. I felt so unworthy to even be called a child of God because of some sinful habits that wouldn’t go no matter how hard I tried. Every teaching I heard at that time condemned me and made me feel worse of myself. That night, I even nursed the thoughts of giving up on everything but then something strange happened.

I had a dream that night where I was in a very large dining hall with a very large dining table. Everybody was seated, including THE FATHER, waiting to be served. Where I sat was very far from where He was. I didn’t want Him to see me. In fact, I felt so unworthy to be seen by the Father. I hid my face from Him. And then the waitress began to serve. Everybody got food except me. For a second I thought it was some form of punishment. And then I turned to the waitress and asked, “What’s going on? You’ve served everybody except me.” And then she replied, “Oh I’m so sorry I should have told you. The Father actually requested that I serve your food and His together. He wants you to eat from the same plate with Him. He’s waiting for you.” I was amazed! I didn’t understand why He would make such a request. There I was trying to hide from him and there he was longing to see me and eat from the same plate with me. I got up and walked towards Him. As I approached the Father, I realized He had not even started eating. He was waiting for me! When He saw me, he was so excited that He smiled broadly and quickly pulled out a chair for me to sit on, next to Him. I felt warm, loved. It dawned on me that all the while I was feeling lost and unworthy, the Father never stopped loving me. He saw me differently. That changed my view about Him. He is indeed a loving Father!


I discovered over time that the perception we have of our earthly father, sometimes affects how we relate with our heavenly Father. Some never knew who their father was. Some think of their earthly father as some man who got their mother pregnant and was not man enough to take responsibility for their actions. So, to them, they have the picture of an irresponsible father. Some have the picture of a wicked, uncaring father. Others have a picture of a loving father that they can tell almost anything. I don’t know where you belong but beyond our perceptions, there is a LOVING FATHER who cares about us.  He is interested in every tiny little detail about our lives. He knows what you are going through and wants to help you. He doesn’t love you because you deserve to be loved but because He is LOVE (1 John 4:8). He will not punish you because you have sinned but rather longs that you will draw nearer to him even in your state. Jesus already dealt with sin and its consequences once and for all (Romans 6:10).  The goal of the enemy is to make us think that the Father has stopped loving us because of our sins and the moment he can get us to think that way, fellowship is broken. I was running away from my Father because of the wrong perceptions I had about Him. I ended up confessing both known and unknown sins and even did some ‘good works’ just so I could get some form of approval from Him. Sometimes I would pile up sins just so I would confess everything once before I sleep. At times I would spend the better part of the night confessing sins just in case I don’t see the next morning. What a life of bondage!


Friends we are FREE! (John 8:36). Stop confessing your sins. Start confessing who you are in Christ. The Father will not forgive you, He has forgiven you. Even the mistakes you will make tomorrow has been forgiven. Avoid places where they tell you who you are not. Go to places where they tell you who you are in Christ. The more you know who you are in Christ and confess it, the more you experience the dominion you truly have in Him. The love the Father has for us is an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). You might be battling with some addictions right now, and you are wondering why they just won’t go. My friend the way out is to first of all know that the Father loves you irrespective of that addiction. If only you can hear Him whispering in your ear every second how much he loves you and wants to help you. On our own we can’t overcome those habits. Those ‘how to’ manuals are not the solution. When we know that He truly loves us the way we are, then we can run to Him and not run away from Him. Be righteousness conscious! You are the righteousness of God in Christ! It is a gift! The more time we spend in His presence, confessing who we are in Him, the more we lose touch of our desires and addictions. We just can’t help but love him in return and gradually, effortlessly, we see those habits fizzle away. Rest in His love!